Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
