What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
