Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
