And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
