So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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