I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize