You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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