we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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