So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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