Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
