You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
