You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
