we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Let's get the cat blown out
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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