Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
