I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
