we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
