Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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