oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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