I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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