Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
