i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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