I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
