just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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