am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Farmville is her only friend.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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