I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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