I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She's the barista slut.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
