Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize