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i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
