the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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