Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
