I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We left the knife in your bed.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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