Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
