I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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