Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
