my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
then he tried to convert me to islam
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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