why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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