Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
