I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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