my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
