My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just tell him i said nine months
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
