I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
