Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
