so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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