actually, I'm a sock model
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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