Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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