It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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