he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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