Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
