Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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