I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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