What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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