And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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