im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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