Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
