what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
