Girls should come with a carfax report
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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