you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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