I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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