They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
