we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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