Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Drake has all the answers
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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