Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
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He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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